It’s funny, how good intentions can get left by the roadside so easily. For example; my recent declaration to be a writer; which hinged on my ability to stop procrastinating and actually WRITE. So far, it’s been a challenge to live up to – mostly for myself, but also for the editor and creator of the “Eighty-Nine” Literary Mix Tape anthology I signed up for! If there is one thing I can say about Jodi Cleghorn, is that she has the patience of a saint (and if she doesn’t agree with me, well pffft to her). I had every intention of being on time and utterly awesome. But as it always is, a few things happened that made my writing journey go slightly skewif.
Without going into major detail, I went through a sudden (and not entirely asked for), career change where I went from working in my ‘perfect’ job, to not working in it and being unemployed. It wasn’t something I had done, in fact I was told everything I had been doing was fantastic, I just wasn’t successful when I applied for the job I’d been performing in for the previous year and a half and it was given to someone else. To say it devastated me is an understatement. I wasn’t prepared for that outcome, and it threw me entirely. Since then, I have been applying for jobs but not having a great deal of success – thankfully, my partner has had a decent run and we have been able to survive while I am not working (just!). While I have been patiently (snort) waiting for work to come along, I’ve been trying to focus on my Eighty-Nine piece, but I’m ashamed to say, it hasn’t been easy! I’ve had days where I’ve sat in front of my computer and swore at my story; begged it to write itself and do it NOW. It hasn’t worked. Dammit.
But through all of the murk, I’ve had the amazing support of my partner, children and mum and of some very special people, who I want to mention here. There is the wise and witty Janette Dalgliesh, my cotton-wool saviour who has patiently and thankfully taken many, many hours of her time to ease me through my doubts and anger and polish me up enough to shine in the world. I’m totally keeping her! And of course, Jodi, who has stuck with me and all my “I’m nearly there!! I’m just fernangling my MC and his distinct lack of motivation to tell me his story!” excuses. She has provided me not only with ideas for my story but with inspiration that if she can do it all (which is a LOT, trust me!), then I bloody can too. And then there is Barb – my voice of reason from the USA; a woman who supports me regardless, and someone I know that I can talk to about anything. Three pretty awesome women who I feel infinitely better knowing they have my back.
As for my writing … well. I have my doubts, as I’m sure most writers do, but I don’t have a choice to ‘not write’. It’s something I have to do. So I’ll keep plodding away, turning out the odd Flash Fiction piece (which are so much fun, by the way!) and working away on that novel that I don’t show anyone … and if it makes me feel warm and fuzzy at least once in a while, then I’ll keep doing it.
p.s. I submitted my Eighty-Nine today … *fist pump*